Twilight Wedding Spoof
by Monkeycat3181
Summary: edward is nervous about getting married cause he has sercert crush on someone eles, he decides to anonce it to the church lets see what happens.


Twilight Wedding Spoof:

a banana time TV sketch

*the day of edward and bella`s wedding in bella`s dressing room thing*

Edward: bella...there`s...something i need to tell you...

Bella: edward todays our wedding day theres no time for ur vampire moodyness its a time to celabrate.

*bella goes to the mirror and tries to deside between two vals*

edward: bella...this is kind of important.

bella: ok, what is it my vampire blood monster?

edward: um...bella...i`m...

alice: edward, bella its time! its time! its time! its time!

bella: time for what?

alice: the wedding silly

edward: we`ll be a second alice i just have to telling bella very imporant.

alice: there`s no time for ur moddyness edward you guys have to be walking down that asli in less than ten secs.

edward: but i...

alice: shhhh*as she pushes then out the door*

jacob: *in the aduses* y the fuck did i come here? OH YEAH! CAUSE I`M IDOIT THATS WHY!

billy black: jacob shut up bella and edward are about to comeing

jacob; and i care y?

*bella and edward begin to walk down the asile as the wedding music plays*

bella: edward i`m gana hurt sarah paylin.

edward: what?

bella: i`m gana hurt sarah paylin.

edward: ok why?

bella: well were moving to alaska right?

edward: that was never oficalized but go on.

bella: sarah paylin lives in alaska so when we move to alaska and you turn me into a newborn i might hurt sarah paylin.

*they stop in the middle of the walk way*

edward: i`m a Demicrate.

*they start walking again. when they finally get the stage alter thing edward wispers something to the preist*

preist:*the preist waves his hands to get the peoples attenion* dearly belove it we are gathered here today to join this women and this man in holy macanony.

Jacob: *in aduins* yawn fest!

*Jacob`s dad noughes him*

preist: but before i go on the groom edward has something he`d like to say first.

jacob: *cough* *Cough* gay

*preist gives the mic to edward*

edward: yes, bella...*turns to bella* there is something i must confess to you right here and now, bella...i`m gay.

*everyone in the adusins gasps*

*jacob laughs extermly loud*

jacob: ha ha i knew it!

bella: your what!

edward: i`m gay

preist: oh good lord man say its not true!

edward: its true, and i have a gay crush too

Bella: edward how could you play with my heart like this?

edward:i`m sorry bella but i was in love with you

*he walks up to charlie* intill i met ur dad.

bella: my dad? your in love with my dad?

*edward goes in frount of charile and gets down on one knee*

edward: charile swan will you marry me?

*bellas faces looks apalled*

*jacob laughts his ass off*

charile: edward, i`m 49, ur 17 do you really want to marry someone whos 30 years older than you? 

edward:well aculey i`m really 109, so really i`m older than you.

charilie: yeah but edward i dont pitacarly like...what the hell your 109? what where you going to do if you marryed my daugher rape her?

edward:*look guilty* yes.

jacob:*in aduins* ha ha this is great! i wish i had some food to go with this enjoyment tho.

quil: yo blondie pass over the crosants!

rosilee: get em your slef dog!

quil: oh i`m sorry your so hot i thougth you were a maid.

bella: so let me get this straight, i was almost killed 4 times because of u, my friends thougth i was crazy because of u, i almost comitted sucide again because of u, and was on the border line of never seeing my friends or family just to be with you, and your telling me your gay and your in love with my dad.

edward: yes idoit bella! didnt i just say that? geez its like you get stupider and stupider ever day!*laughs to himslef* no wounder y you fell in love with me

*bella Gasps then slaps edward in the face*

bella: well thats a misake i`ll never make again!

*bella leaves the church mad and upset*

*jacob cames up to edward laughing*

Jacob:*laughing histaricly*ha ha ha ha ha ha ha great wedding glad i came *slaps edward on the back*

*laughing histaricly* ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha gay! *points at edward*

*jacob leaves*

*edward is just standing where he is and then jasper cames up to him*

jasper: wow u blew it man

edward: yeah i know but i just couldnt stand it anymore i just had to tell her the truth

jasper; no not with bella, you blew with me. i mean i always thougth that i was ur gay crush and that we would be gay together well i guess i was wroung. i guess ur not gay enough for jasper.

alice: what! jasper? did you just say you where gay?

jasper: no no i`m sright. im stright as a log.

*edward mouths hes gay*

alice; you are gay! arent you! how could u play with my heart like this?

*gose and runs out of the church crying*

edward: hey wana skip merryly threw the forest?

jasper: i thougth you`d never ask!

*go to run merryly in the forest*

THE

END


End file.
